The set aside prayer is a short prayer in which you ask your Higher Power to help you put aside what you think you already know about yourself, your drinking, the program, and God, so you can approach recovery with an open mind. It does not appear in the Big Book or in any other AA Conference-approved literature, and its exact origin is unclear. Many members still say it before Big Book study, Step work, or a talk with a sponsor. This post explains what the set aside prayer asks for and how it compares with the Serenity Prayer, the Third, Seventh, and Eleventh Step prayers, and the “sick man’s prayer” used in the resentment inventory.
Key Takeaways
- The set aside prayer asks for an open mind by letting go of old ideas about yourself, your illness, and your Higher Power.
- The set aside prayer is not printed in the Big Book or other AA Conference-approved literature, and no official AA record names its author.
- AA’s own archives trace the Serenity Prayer into AA in 1941, and the strongest authorship claim belongs to theologian Reinhold Niebuhr.
- The Third Step prayer is on page 63 of the Big Book, the “sick man’s prayer” is on page 67, and the Seventh Step prayer is on page 76.
- AA states that it is not a religious organization, and members are free to define a Higher Power in their own way.
What does the set aside prayer ask for
The set aside prayer asks for help letting go of fixed beliefs so you can have a new experience in recovery. In plain terms, you ask to set aside what you think you know about yourself, your addiction, the Steps, the Big Book, other people, and your Higher Power, and to be shown what is true.
The idea behind it is simple. Many people arrive in AA convinced they already understand their problem, or that “spiritual” talk is not for them. Those fixed ideas can block new information before it has a chance to land. The prayer is a way of agreeing, for the next hour or the next conversation, to listen without arguing in your head.
The wording varies from group to group. Some versions list specific areas, such as work, family, or health, and ask for an open mind in each. No single version is official.
The prayer echoes a theme that runs through the Big Book chapter “We Agnostics,” which encourages readers to stay open-minded about spiritual ideas. If you are starting the Steps, the open-mindedness the prayer asks for fits closely with coming to believe in Step 2.
Where did the set aside prayer come from
No official AA source documents who wrote the set aside prayer or when. It is not part of the Big Book, the Twelve and Twelve, or other material published by AA’s General Service Office.
Member-run AA history sites connect its spread to Big Book study workshops, and one account places its start in Denver in the early 1980s. These accounts have not been independently confirmed, so the honest answer is that its exact origin is unclear.
Being outside Conference-approved literature does not make a prayer forbidden. AA explains that “Conference-approved” applies only to material published by its General Service Office, and that the label does not imply disapproval of other material. AA also leaves reading choices to individual members. Each group decides, through its own group conscience, which readings and prayers it uses at meetings.
A prayer does not need to be official to be useful, but you should know which parts of your program come from the Big Book and which came later.
When do people say the set aside prayer
People usually say the set aside prayer right before something they want to hear with fresh ears. It works as a short pause between your day and the task in front of you.
Common moments include:
- Before sharing or listening in a meeting, especially a Big Book study.
- Before starting a new Step, such as the inventory in Step 4.
- Before a conversation with a sponsor where you expect feedback you may not like.
- Before reading recovery literature you think you already understand.
To recite it, you do not need special words or a set posture. Read a version your group uses, or say it in your own words: ask to set aside your old ideas, ask for an open mind, and ask to see the truth. Some people say it silently. Others read it aloud with a sponsor before a Step session. If you are new to meetings and unsure of the customs, it helps to know what happens at an AA meeting before you go.
What are the other common AA prayers
The most common AA prayers are the Serenity Prayer, the Third and Seventh Step prayers from the Big Book, the “sick man’s prayer” in the resentment inventory, and the Prayer of St. Francis quoted in the Twelve and Twelve.
AA’s archives say the Serenity Prayer entered AA in 1941, after it appeared in a New York newspaper’s In Memoriam column. Members took to it quickly, and the AA office began printing it on cards. The AA archives paper on the prayer names theologian Reinhold Niebuhr as its most likely author. Its short form reads: “God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, courage to change the things I can, and wisdom to know the difference.”
| Prayer | Where it comes from | When people use it |
|---|---|---|
| Set aside prayer | Not in AA literature, origin unclear | Before study, Step work, or sponsor talks |
| Serenity Prayer | Attributed to Reinhold Niebuhr, in AA since 1941 | Opening or closing meetings, moments of stress |
| Third Step prayer | Big Book, page 63 | Taking Step 3, many say it each morning |
| Sick man’s prayer | Big Book, page 67 | Working through resentments in Step 4 |
| Seventh Step prayer | Big Book, page 76 | Taking Step 7, asking for defects to be removed |
| Prayer of St. Francis | Twelve and Twelve, Step 11 chapter | Daily prayer and meditation |
What do the Step prayers in the Big Book say
The Third Step prayer on page 63 offers yourself to God, asks to be relieved of self-centeredness, and asks for help being useful to others. It marks the decision described in turning your will and life over in Step 3.
The “sick man’s prayer” sits on page 67, in the section on resentment. After listing people who have hurt you, the Big Book suggests seeing them as spiritually sick and asking for the same tolerance, patience, and pity you would offer a sick friend. Pages 68 to 70 carry similar short requests for fear and for your sexual conduct, which is why people asking about an “AA 4th step prayer” usually mean these passages.
The Seventh Step prayer on page 76 tells your Creator you are willing to be given all of you, good and bad, and asks that each defect standing in the way of your usefulness be removed. You can see how this fits the wider Step in humbly asking in Step 7.
The Twelve and Twelve’s Step Eleven chapter calls the Prayer of St. Francis “a classic” and prints it on pages 99 and 100. The full text of each is available from AA.
Do you have to be religious to use AA prayers
No. AA states plainly in its pamphlet for agnostic and atheist members that “A.A. is not a religious organization.” The same pamphlet says there is room in AA for every kind of belief and non-belief.
Members define a Higher Power in their own terms. For some, that is the God of their faith. For others, it is the group itself, a set of principles, or simply something larger than their own will. Many members who do not pray in a traditional sense treat these prayers as statements of intention, a way to remind themselves of honesty, humility, and service.
You can join in a group prayer, stand quietly while others say it, or skip it. None of those choices affects your membership. What matters more is whether the practice helps you stay sober and stay honest, and that is a question you can work through with a sponsor or a trusted peer.
Conclusion
The set aside prayer is a request for an open mind, asking you to put down old ideas about yourself, your addiction, and your Higher Power before you study, share, or work a Step. It is not in the Big Book or other Conference-approved literature, and no one can say for certain who wrote it. The Serenity Prayer, the Third and Seventh Step prayers, the “sick man’s prayer,” and the Prayer of St. Francis all come from documented sources and serve different moments in the program. You can use any of them as written, in your own words, or not at all. Recovery tends to hold up better when daily practices like these are shared with other people working the same Steps in a stable, sober home.
Find Group Support for Your Step Work
Prayers and Step work are easier to keep up when you are surrounded by people doing the same work every day. At DJ Housing in Newfoundland, NJ, residents live in a sober home with peers and take part in Group Support that encourages meeting attendance, honest sharing, and steady progress through the Steps. Call +1 973-397-5978 to ask about openings and what a typical week looks like.
Frequently Asked Questions
Is the Set Aside Prayer AA Approved?
No, the set aside prayer is not AA Conference-approved literature. It does not appear in the Big Book, the Twelve and Twelve, or other material published by AA’s General Service Office. AA explains that the “Conference-approved” label does not mean it disapproves of other material. Each AA group decides through its group conscience whether to use the prayer at meetings.
Where Did the Set Aside Prayer Come From?
Its exact origin is unclear. Member-run AA history sites link its spread to Big Book study workshops, but no official AA record names an author or a date. The ideas in it echo the Big Book chapter “We Agnostics,” which asks readers to keep an open mind. Treat any confident story about who wrote it with caution.
How Do You Recite the Set Aside Prayer?
Say it just before the activity you want to approach with an open mind, such as a meeting, Step work, or a sponsor conversation. You can read a version your group uses or put it in your own words. The core requests are to set aside old ideas, to be open to a new experience, and to see the truth. It can be said aloud, silently, alone, or with a sponsor.
What Are the Only Two Sins in AA?
The phrase comes from page 542 of the Big Book’s Third Edition, a passage that AA’s Daily Reflections quotes. The passage names the first sin as interfering with the growth of another person and the second as interfering with your own growth. It reflects one writer’s view, not an official AA rule. Many members use it as a check on how they treat sponsees, family, and themselves.
What Is the AA Morning Prayer?
Most members mean the morning guidance on page 86 of the Big Book, in the chapter “Into Action.” It suggests that on waking you think about the day ahead and ask God to direct your thinking away from self-pity and selfish motives. When you are unsure what to do, it suggests asking for inspiration and then relaxing rather than forcing an answer. Many people pair it with the Third Step prayer each morning.